Lets see......

Today my thoughts are on the dynamics of being newly married and maintaining solid relationships with close friends...

Just thoughts....

Comments

[Kari]

Oh - I just read the quote at the top of your site and had one more thought. It's so true that that love that becomes more and more solidified during the first couple years of marriage is one of the most beautiful things to be around as a friend. Somehow it just radiates to everyone around the couple, which is why it makes so much sense that family life is the beginning of world unity. Anyway...

[kari]

I can only speak from the other side of the coin being a friend of many married couples. Of course, every couple is different. But, the one thing I've noticed that's pretty standard is that transition time that Charla mentioned. There seems to always be a period of time in the first year when I hear from my married friends less. I've also noticed that the friendships that were truly solid before continue to be solid regardless of how often we get to speak to each other or catch up.

Partly as a friend it feels like my duty to support the married couple as they lay the foundation for their fortress. Recognizing that that's the important relationship they have to cultivate on this earth (after their relationships with God) and that it helps set the tone for their family, it feels like the most supportive thing I can do is to not get worried about the time that might pass between the marriage ceremony and the next time we have a real conversation. Even if it's a year or two - which is sometimes the case.

[Lisa Briggs]

I love you guys and sure like the way Pierre puts a smile on your face Charla!!!
Lisa T.

[Pierre]

Ahh,

Shadan has spoken....Everything is clear now......;)

[Shadan]

Just don't have kids and you and your friends will be fine

[delara]

hmm... i don't know that the same is true for me. some friendships have stayed exactly the same and have just gotten deeper. others have fallen by the wayside - but more as a function of my busy life than as a function of having gotten married. :) and still others have developed and flourished in ways i couldn't have imagined they would have. very likely, this dynamic is different in each marriage - depending on how the couple decide to structure their lives and priorities and friendships. but who knows - you'll enjoy the journey in any case!

[+mojan.]

It's weird that since I've been married some friendships have become closer and some have moved further apart, but none have really stayed the same.

[Charla]

Deeeeeep thoughts Pierogi. Funny that I, too, have been contemplating this very thing. It boils down to my wanting it all! Wanting things to change but stay the same. Does accepting a new confidant mean that your other confidants are less important or that there is less time for them? Is it an either/or? Do the relationships have to be compartmentalized? I'm thinking that I (we) have to accept that there is the inevitable "briar patch of transition" period, then a "break on through to the other side" moment, and then life is sweet again with a new and improved -- but different -- blending of relationships.